A Monster-truck announcer breaks up with his girlfriend

K-K-K-K-K-KARENNNNNNNNN,

This SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY, I'd like you to have all your stuff moved OUT OUT OUT of MY MY MY APARTMENT APARTMENT APARTMENT, because I'm b-b-b-b-b-breaking up with YOU YOU YOU!!! I don't know what to say, really. I feel b-b-b-b-bad about all this, but it's like we're just not c-c-c-c-c-c-communicating like we used to.

Let's just be m-m-m-m-mature about this and try to remain friends. We should get coffee sometime, in case one of us needs some CLOSURE CLOSURE CLOSURE. I know no one PLANS PLANS PLANS for things to turn out this WAY WAY WAY.

Call me if you think this is a MISTAKE MISTAKE MISTAKE MISTAKE.

Sorry,
Keith

*Found on McSweeny's Internet Tendency page, alas I cannot take credit.

Confessions of a Tax Associate

Sitting in an empty H&R Block office night after night leads me to ask one question: Why aren't people doing their taxes?
I constantly am coming into work fully expecting no business. Maybe it's our demographics. The families and business in this particular area are bit "well off" so chances are they have their own CPAs and accountants.
Maybe people are waiting unitl the last minute to complete their returns because they know they'll owe money and want to hold onto it for as long as possible. If this is the case, we'll be swamped in a few weeks.
It is rather disheartening that my first "professional" job post college is already what many would consider a dead-end. I've been attending career fairs and calling up some conects, but I have that 7.6% national unemployment in the back of my mind. Who would hire me of all the people looking for jobs? I guess this is just another situation where I keep my head down and power through, something is bound to come up.