Showdown at the Golden Corral

This is both an appreciation and story post, so it runs a tad long.
I love the Golden Corral. For those of you who may not know or have experienced a Golden Corral in all its food-acious glory, a Golden Corral is a buffet style restaurant that specializes in fried foods, steaks, and desserts. It's relatively cheap compared to most buffets and many restaurants. Many think Golden Corrals have low quality food due to the massive amounts they prepare, but I swear the quality is Grade A. Tonight, I ventured out to my "local" corral and had a small confrontation, hence the "showdown" in the title. Henceforth is the telling of that confrontation:

I'm at the salad bar and I had just started putting lettuce into my bowl when this guy comes up to the salad station and yells at the lady behind the counter, "Hey! Hey you! we need more lettuce! can I get more lettuce!" I'm very confused because I just used the lettuce and there was tons of lettuce. So I say to the gentleman, "hey man, the lettuce is right there, and there's plenty." He looks at me, looks at the lettuce, yells something, i think, "nevermind" to the woman behind the counter. Ooooo.K. I go on, enjoy my salad, and my first plate of delicious starches, meats, and veggies. After completing the task of vanquishing all of my edibles collected on the first trek, I go up for my second plate, which as we all know, is the most important plate. Let me side-track here to explain the second plate:

The second plate theorem:
-The second plate requires a lot of thought, management, and personal integrity to complete. Chances are you've had 2, or maybe all 3, of these; Salad, soup and a single first plate which was most likely rather full with bits and pieces of the entire spread. You went up for appetizers and came back with pizza, mac and cheese and a slice of meatloaf.* Eh, it happens to the best of us.
-Now, with the second plate you get to try the things that caught your eye on the first trip but didn't grab for any number of various reasons(space, wait, freshness, ect.). But watch out! You don't have as much room and you need to save some for dessert. thus the balance.
-The balance is when you "balance" the contents of the plate with new things, old things that you want more of, and the idea that you will want to make one more trip for 2 or 3 desserts. So some sacrifice size of the portion for flavor, just to get a taste; others may only get what they know is good, thus leaving more room for it, but keep in mind: room for dessert.

Back to the story. I go up for my second plate and I'm waiting in line when I look up and it's that same guy from the salad bar. I noted it but didn't care until we get up to the steaks. I wanted this rare steak that had been taken off the grill maybe 5 minutes before. No one wanted it, everyone wanted well done. I go to ask for the rare one and the guy in front of me snags it with his fork. His own fork! You don't use your own utensils at the buffet line! So I had to wait for another steak. But just note this, the wonder of the Golden Corral, they will grill as much steak at any degree of cooked, right in front of you! AMAZING!!!
So I finish my second plate and go up for dessert. I'm pickin' through some pie, some cake, a cookie thats covered in frosting and has cake and whipped cream on top. Yeah, I domolished that. And just as I'm leaving I hear this guy, that same guy from the salad bar and at the grill, yelling at the lady behind the counter cause, guess what the were out of: a cookie thats covered in frosting and has cake and whipped cream on top! So, yeah, I owned him. Looking back I feel bad for the person working there, but if he's going to take my steak I'm going to take his cookie cake. Booya.

So yeah, Golden Corral is the shit, let it be known!


*known as the first plate theorem.

Fun With Snapshots

So the new VLC Media Player fixed the snapshot bug. This is what I made just now.

Oh, the places I've gone

Today my 1991 Acura Integra achieved a feat that most cars only dream about; 250,000 miles. To put things in perspective that's over 10 times the circumference of the Earth, 2,640,000,000 dollar bills laid end to end, 10,000 more miles than the distance from the center of the Earth to the Moon, and, with an average MPG of 28, 8929 gallons of gas. In case you need proof, and the fact that I could have been killed while taking these, here are pictures of my odometer:


If you are wondering about anything else in my life, no nothing is new, this is my achievement of the week so stop asking "what i'm doing" or "what's new" because the answer other than my car surviving much longer than the factory expected is nothing. If you are curious on the condition of the car, it shakes, a lot. And it smokes, a lot. For some reason my engine likes to shoot oil on itself causing billowing smoke to come out from the hood. But don't worry, other than an impending car fire, a terrible burning oil smell, and my 1 of 4 speakers being blown out the car is in grand condition.

Batman Returns

I was watching Batman Returns today and one quote seemed to really pop out at me and I would like to share. Maximillian 'Max' Shreck is played by none other than Christopher Walken and Catwomen is portrayed by Michelle Pfeiffer. I feel like this dialogue belongs in a comedy routine.

Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: I don't know what you want, but I know I can get it for you, with a minimum of fuss! Money, jewels, a *very* big ball of string.

Catwoman: Your blood, Max.

Maximillian 'Max' Shreck: My blood? I gave, at the office.

Cops and other thoughts

So today, as I was driving from one place to another, I noticed something odd. I saw three cops, on three separate occasions, cut people off without signaling; twice at rather high speeds(45mph+). What the hell? I'm usually one to defend the police in arguments about how people don't like cops, saying things like "they're a necessary part of society," and "you're just mad you got caught," type of things but how can they expect anyone to follow traffic laws when they provide such a poor example. Oh, and get this, one time, after cutting one person off the cop flipped on his lights for about 10 seconds just to get through traffic. He turned them off immediately after he was past. Why should cops be allowed to do such things? I should have gotten plate numbers and reported it but i was driving, not taking notes. So that's one thing.
I decided to go up to my old apartment for a little while today to a)get out of the house and b)pick up a few things I had left in my roommates room. Just as a background, my roommate has been in Boston for over a month is isn't coming back until the 31st, and I have his keys and my swipe still works. Every once in a while I like to stop in and check on things, especially since we had some drama with facilities management about replacing the carpet. At about 6pm, which is an hour after their offices close, three people come into the apartment for inspections, two wih facilities, one claiming to be some sort of resident director. She's worried about how the carpet needs to be replaced and the walls need to be painted before new people move in this weekend because she doesn't want to get complaints form parents. After explaining that my roommate is not there they start looking around and discussing what needs to be fixed. I mention that my roommate won't be able to move his stuff. They seem to get mad at this. This RD tells me that not only will my roommate get charged for not complying with hat they want but there's a possibility that I will get charged for the carpet. I go into a tirade about how I already got my bill, and paid it and I thought the whole thing was put to rest. I strike a deal with her; I'll move my roommates stuff if she won't charge me for ANYTHING. She agrees. So I feel as though I dodged a bullet by the pure coincidence that I was there and willing to do a favor for my roommate. But there's still an obvious flaw. Why, almost a month after I moved out(and days before new people move in), do they decide to take care of things? I already got my bill for $22.50. The RD said it didn't matter and that I could still get charged for the carpet. What the hell. People need to get their acts together.

Presidential Picture

So I typed into Google "presidents of the united states of america" and went to images and found this pic. The first thing that came to mind was that carter was the only democrat. I decided to MS Paint the picture and now I think it is rather hilarious.
I'm curious to know what it is like to be in a room with supposed "equals"(they were all president) and have the possibility that you hate their guts. Now, i'm not saying carter hates the other past presidents, nor am I saying that all the republicans get along, but one thing that does not make sense about politics is that everything is done with a smile. It's hard to get an honest opinion out of politicians most likely because they know that someone is watching or caring about every little word they say. Who cares?! I want to see what Obama and McCain really think of eachother, cagematch style.

Candy

Here's my acoustic version of "candy" by Mandy Moore circa 1999. I hope you enjoy, please bear with the audio and let's just blame the lack of vocal talent on...well my lack of vocal talent.

You Win Again, AC

Just got back from a day trip to Atlantic City with the one and only Tim Miller. I won't bore you with gambling details but lets just say I lost. It's really no fun losing. I do try to get something out of it like I learned when I feel like the worst player at the table it most likely means I am, AND I learned that Borgata is mondo stingy with the comps. I've never paid for a meal in AC until today. However, the buffet spread was rather amazing and would have been downright perfect if it wasn't for an obvious lack of crabs legs. How can you charge that much for a buffet and not include crabs legs?
Without any further ado, I would like to congratulate Brendan and (the oh so recent) Jenn O'Leary on their joining in holy matramony. I spent some amount of time in Annapolis every day for 3 days in a row(Thursday, Friday, Saturday) and loved every second of it. The O'Learys(or I guess the Sammuels in some cases) really know how to throw a party. Annapolis is a funny town. With my wonderful navagating skills I had the pleasure of exploring some unexpected parts of the town.
Speaking of said wedding, the rumors are true; I did wear a Yarmulke in one of the oldest CATHOLIC churches in the country. My reasoning: a)It was Saturday morning, I was in a place of worship, I should be wearing one, b)It went well with the tux. Although the tuxes looked ever so snazy, I really feel like they needed a bit less...grey? So a white Yarmulke was the perfect addition, and c) Mark this one in our column God, I'm not sure why but this feels like a win.

Pointless Goals

So, twice this past weekend conversations having to do with "things I want to do before i die" have come up. I've decided instead of creating a "bucket list," if you will, I'll make a list of things that if money and sensibility are thrown to the wind, would be really cool to do. This ongoing list of potential awesomeness will be referred to as my "Magic Lamp List" or MLL. Today on the MLL we have two items that are oddly intertwined.
MLL:
-Have a theme song written for myself. I'm thinking something like Shaft or Sanford and Son. Horns will be involved. I'll consider all suggestions.
-I would like to own my own airplane. There is a second part to this wish though. The price of admission, other than my discretion, would be to help with a ritual that I will institute for how I leave my plane. I wish to be carried down the steps of a stair car on the tarmac by all who were riding in the plane. I'll need four people to carry me and something like four other people to play an instrumental version of my selected theme song as well as fan me, feed me grapes, and do other assorted royal parade type stuff. This will last until we get down the stairs then its back to normal. Jonas Wilson has a permanent seat on my airplane as long as he agrees to be one of the people whom carries me.

More Class

First, in response to the comment from my last post, it's a pet peeve. I'm not going to hate someone for saying "America." And as for "americans" it's rather arrogant to refer to ourselves as "americans" in reference to the US. Mexicans and Canadians are just as much "americans" as we are. But ultimately, this is trivial.
Moving on.
Again, I am in class not paying attention and messin' around online. The Orioles are losing to the Red Sox through pure stupidity and lack of good pitching. I was playing poker but after getting hosed over and over I've decided to take a break from online poker. So much so that I've uninstalled Bodog poker. I am keeping my account though purely for sports betting. Unfortunately, it is unlikely that will continue for too much longer, especially if i bet the house on the celtics.

Pet Peeve.

I’ve discovered a pet-peeve of mine. When people say “America” when they mean the United States I’m a bit riled. Central America and “America” is not the same thing. Call it the US; Or Canada. Not “America.”

What a Day

Well it's been hell of a day
Started off all well and good, went to class at 11am, all nice and fun.
Then at 1pm I was supposed to take Richard to the airport so that he could finally go to Europe(there was a passport snaffoo and he got grounded here for 3 extra days). We get to dulles in record time and all I had to do was get back, which could feasibly be done in 45 min. Well, typical me, I missed the 495 exit. I decided to stay on the dulles access road until it hit something I knew. I ended up going through to Arlington and in DC. Did I mention it's hot as balls out today? 104 was the highest I saw on thermometer in the car. So, now that I think I know where I am, 50/Constitution Ave, I decide to call my father for better directions than me just guessing. I happened to be literally outside his office, like I think I saw him in the window. He tells me to find North Capitol which I know will lead me home. I lost it somewhere and got onto New York Ave. which if anyone knows DC, should be avoided like the plague at all times. So, after an hour of stop-and-go traffic I swing out to the BW Parkway because I needed to go home and get a book for class. I'm cruisin' along, makin' up time when what happens? Gridlock. I can't seem to get away from it. Eventually I find Powder Mill which should take me home, unfortuenly it's a one lane, windy road. I get home around 5pm, and back to CP at like 5:30pm, just in time for class. So now, I'm in class, blogging and playing poker instead of paying attention but at least I'm here. So long for now, I think my blog will just be a narration of things instead of any specific themes, hopefully I'll update more often.

Up Dog

Well hello there internet world! I'm having a hard time adjusting to blogging. I'm really just not sure what to write on here. I have no theme or goal. Soon enough I think I will blog about something. Perhaps I could post about things I see. I don't know.

Wish You Were Here

So, so you think you can tell, Headies from Mids,
sour diesel from hash.
Can you tell white widow from some old stinky gange?
A joint from a spliff?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade your trees for shrooms?
Hot ashes in a roach?
Hot pipe for a cool ice bong?
Top papers for swishers?
And did you exchange your unnecessary blood for a hit from a bubbler with rage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost stones sitting without weed, day after day,
Playing the same old games.
What have you found? I got some cheap shake.
Wish you were here.

Must See!

Here is a compiled list of must see movies. These are not my "top" movies or anything, just movies that if you tell me you haven't seen I tend to say, "You've got to see that!" Also, obvious ones like the Godfather are left off the list.
-12 Angry Men, the best movie ever made with absolutely no scene changes
-Airplane!, Classic shtick
-Blazing Saddles, Wild West racism with a Mel Brooks twist
-High Fidelity, The greatest thing about this movie is the soundtrack and how it fits with the movie so well. Also, how awesome would it be to own a record store?
-I heart Huckabees, A mystery, a comedy, a lesson in existentialism.
-Porky's, classic coming of age comedy with boobies and high school drama.
-The Rock, Great actors, great plot, great score.
-Rushmore, Don't get me started
-Singin' in the Rain, Did people really run around hollywood singing and dancing back in the 50s?
-For Your Consideration, Actors acting like actors who try too hard to speak yiddish in a southern accent.
-The Boys and Girls Guide to Getting Down, A pretty funny look into the world of drugs and early adulthood.
-Three Kings, George Clooney and Ice Cube in a great comedy about the gulf war. Don't worry it gets serious because war is no laughing matter.
-Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex, Classic Woody Allen, funny exaggerations about sex in short 10 min sketches.
-A Fish Called Wanda, Jamie Lee Curtis among others in an all star cast who involve themselves in an all too complicated caper.

This list could get much longer, perhaps i will just update it as movies come up in conversation. Have a happy cinematic experience!

The way poker was meant to be played...

Found it

I went and through some deep searching I found my old xanga site. Below I have listed a few select dates that I feel are must reads. Other than that feel free to read my ramblings of days past, I enjoy it anyway. The site is: http://www.xanga.com/OnlySoICanComment

Saturday, January 21, 2006
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Monday, September 26, 2005
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Thursday, February 10, 2005*
Saturday, May 01, 2004
and the list goes on but I realized most of my old blog included things like "wtf is wrong with me," "this is why today sucked," "Things are better when," and so on. Reading some of those high school blogs though makes me kinda...nostalgic?

"Ciced"

"Ciced" is a real word. With soft "c"s, "Ciced" is a bastardization of psyched. Not only can it mean pumped or happy about something it can also have negative connotations. You can "cice" someone by owning them in some fashion as well. These words are the truth.

Edit: the above is NOT the truth. It turns out that I was incorrect. Psyched means to be pumped. Ciced is to pump something up. It's similar to "lay versus lie." These words are more than likely true.

First Post

Here is my first post, hopefully I don't hate having this as much as I hated having a Xanga.